Mortality

someone i knew died. he always promoted my shows and came out to them. the last time i saw him was telling jokes at an open mic in december.

i wasnt close to the guy, but i knew him. he was kind. he gave a shit about what we did.

of course my train of thoughts never stops... so i started thinking about my own mortality.

will someone blog "someone i knew died. i did shows with him. i wasnt close to him, but i knew him..."? fuck, i hope not.

once upon a time i wrote out the guidelines to my wake and funeral. i think i'll share them...

GUIDELINES FOR THE WAKE AND FUNERAL OF JOE MOTISI:

LET IT BE KNOWN THAT THESE ARE THE FINAL WISHES OF JOSEPH DAVID MOTISI. AS WRITTEN WHEN JOSEPH MOTISI WAS OF SOUND MIND AND BODY. THESE WISHES ARE TO BE STRICTLY FOLLOWED AND NOT ALTERED BY THE RESPONSIBLE PARTIES THAT ARE HANDLING FUNERAL SERVICES.

FIRST AND FOREMOST:

JOE MOTISI WISHES TO BE CREMATED. THE ASHES ARE TO BE SPREAD AT ELAINE BOND PARK IN SCHAUMBURG ILLINOIS

PROCEDURES FOR WAKE/FUNERAL:

- WITH THE EXCLUSION OF SLACKS, BLACK CAN NOT BE WORN AT CEREMONY. NO BLACK WHATSOEVER. IF SOMEONE ARRIVES IN BLACK, THERE WILL BE SHIRTS AVAILABLE FOR THEM TO PUT ON INSTEAD.
- PEOPLE ARE ENCOURAGED TO WEAR HAWAIIAN SHIRTS. OR BRIGHT COLORS.
- JOE MOTISI WOULD PREFER THE WAKE NOT BE IN A FUNERAL HOME BUT AT A HOUSE.
- JOE MOTISI WOULD LIKE THERE TO BE BBQ AVAILABLE FOR THOSE IN ATTENDENCE. I.E HAMBURGERS AND HOTDOGS
- JOE MOTISI WOULD LIKE HIS URN TO BE PLACED ON A TABLE AND HAVE COOLERS FULL OF BEER AND SODA UNDER OR AROUND HIS URN. THIS IS AN ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY PART OF THIS WAKE AND CAN NOT BE ALTERED IN ANY WAY.
- JOE MOTISI WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A TELEVISION/COMPUTER PLAYING VIDEO OF HIS STANDUP COMEDY PERFORMANCES AVAILABLE FOR WATCHING. HE WOULD LIKE THIS BECAUSE HE WANTS PEOPLE TO REMEMBER HIS EFFORTS IN MAKING THEM LAUGH.
- ALL WHO ATTEND OR ENTER HOME WHERE WAKE IS BEING HELD MUST WRITE A MEMORY OF JOSEPH DAVID MOTISI ON A NOTE CARD AND DEPOSIT IT IN WHATEVER IS USED TO HOLD ON TO THESE NOTECARDS (BOX, BAG, ETC.) AFTER THE WAKE THE CONTENTS OF THIS BAG ARE TO BE BURNED AND THE ASHES OF THESE NOTECARDS ARE TO BE ADDED TO THE URN IN WHICH JOE MOTISI IS CONTAINED.
- JOE MOTISI'S FAVORITE PICTURE OF HIMSELF MUST BE PLACED NEXT TO THE URN. THIS IS THE PICTURE WHERE HE IS DRINKING A 7&7 AND WEARING HIS FAVORITE BROWN SUIT.
- WHEN NIGHT FALLS, PARTICIPANTS ARE ENCOURAGED TO STAND UP AND ROAST JOE MOTISI. SHARE A STORY, POKE FUN, ETC.

ASHES SCATTERING PROCEDURE:

- JOE MOTISI WOULD LIKE ONLY IMMEDIATE FAMILY TO BE INVOLVED WITH THE SPREADING OF THE ASHES.
- EXCLUSION TO IMMEDIATE FAMILY IS OFFICER MICHAEL T. WOOD WHO IS ASKED TO BE IN PRESCENCE.
- THE URN IS TO BE EMPTIED BY HIS MOTHER
- IF MOTHER IS NOT WITH US, IT IS TO SPREAD BY HIS BROTHER WILLIAM
- IF WILLIAM IS NOT WITH US, IT IS TO BE SPREAD BY HIS BROTHER ANDREW
- IF ANDREW IS NOT WITH US, IT IS TO BE SPREAD BY MICHAEL T. WOOD
- IF ANY OF THE ABOVE IS NOT AVAILABLE TO SPREAD ASHES. A CLOWN MUST BE HIRED TO DO IT. SERIOUSLY.



so yeah, hopefully that happens when the time comes. now off to smoke cigarettes and eat red meat.