Poetry

so, i've decided to perform my poetry. believe it or not i've written poetry for the better part of 14 years. i've been published, i won an award once, then i completely turned away from doing anything with it because i flipped out about it.

i never knew why i walked away from pursuing it. but recently people close to me have encouraged me to do more with it.

in a way, i am thankful i got into the world of performing comedy on stage. it makes for less of a nervous nature when reading... but i know ill be nervous as all hell.

so this sunday... let's see how it goes.

Knockout on 22nd St.

it's as though jim steinman got his youth back and said "hey billy joel and harry nilson, let's have babies together"... and then andrew w.k came along and said "i dont want to do metal anymore but i'd love to jam with you."

i thoroughly enjoy mark mallman and only learned of him yesterday from a friend. i enjoy it because it reminds me of music i love in a new way. it's epic in a way that is riht. it's a car ride to a girlfriend who you are trying to win back's house ya know?

i've had so much on my mind lately. feel like i am going insane. working on working it out.

i guess mark mallman was a welcome musical distraction.

i go to nyc soon. i really want to just kind of sit on a bench and watch the world go by there.

think i will.

Marlon Brando is Dead

he is. superman's dad and love interest of a southern woman who was soon to lose her mind is dead.

who will save the native americans now?

Chicken Fried Steak

(stupid video... but the song is pretty true)

Today I thought about a chicken fried steak I had in a town about a 1/2 hour outside of Austin.

It was a sheet metal shack restaurant that advertised "best chicken fried steak in the world". So I had to have it, obviously.

I ordered it. Got a can of diet soda as well. It came out in about 5 minutes. It was ok. It was in fact mediocre. The green beans were the best part. My stepdad makes some bitchin' chicken fried steak. It was better.

I suppose he should go into business.

In fact, the best part of Austin, Tx is actually at a place called Art's. They have sweet potato pecan pie.

Aside from that, I'm not a fan of Texas.

I do however enjoy King of the Hill and Kinky Friedman.

Drugs: Better Than Monopoly

(i like lou's banter in this interview... you can view the full interview online... but i feel the best snippets are within these two minutes.)

the past few nights i've ended up in conversations about drugs. whether it was with friends, other comics, or family members... just been talking about drugs.

a close friend of mine once told me "dude, i was addicted to heroin and i never wrote a novel, had a hit album, or was famous. fuck, i did it wrong."

that quote always stuck with me. it always works it's way back into my conscience's rotation.

today i've spent a lot of time thinking about intelligent, talented people and their destruction. breaks your heart a little bit. i think a lot about johnny thunders. i think a lot about friends i've known throughout the years and their downfall. i've unfortunately seen too many people fall to drugs, too many for a kid from the suburbs to ever have to see. i'm not from a big city, why have so many people i've known fell for big city drugs?

alas... last night i had a conversation about drugs and how they piss me off. they do. i understand the temptation. i understand the appeal, the glamour, the desire to live like our shitty heroes have, but still...

just makes me wonder. i am not straight edge nor will i ever judge someone on the choices they make... not my nature. i enjoy a good party and binge night myself. i think i just dont want to see anyone else die.

not so much to ask right?

hey, have a good friday night. be safe.

Chickenshit Conformist Like Your Parents

Today I commented on someone's post about Denis Leary. I don't like Denis Leary. This action then got me to thinking "Well, why don't I like Denis Leary?"

Then my usual trainwreck of a thought process brought me to start thinking about art, music, comedy, everything... the highs and lows of both, etc.

I recall sitting in a bar in Medford, Oregon with some "punks" (quotes necessary, I despise that label). We were talking politics over $2 beers of course, because we are bohemians. Both I and the other person stated our personal political beliefs and then the other went on to say "I can't believe you'd believe that in this day and age..."

This then led me to this point, which I truly believe stands true always... I said "You know what is great about the whole rock n' roll/punk rock mentality? The fact you stand for individuality and equality of all beliefs, equality and union of all people in a cause. The fact that difference is great and we can unite over a love of music, of being good people, of helping each other out... but the one moment you disagree, you shun that person with all your worth."

In all honesty, punk is change. Punk is a revolt against the norm. Keeping that in mind, think about this... everything that was a revolt against the norm of the day was in essence "punk".

Still I think about that conversation in that dingy bar with the overly tattooed people who would become some of my favorite people to this day still, and I wonder.

I admire revolutionaries. Whether it be literary, on stage, muscially, comedically, socially, politically, etc... but listen to that song I posted...

As much of a bad example Jello Biafra is; he hit the nail on the head. In the end revolution has become a commodity, a hairstyle, an attempt to grasp onto something that can produce money in the end.

Finally, I am brought back to the original thought... "Why don't I like Denis Leary?" Denis Leary bastardized a revolutionary. Bill Hicks was the last bastion of an ideology. Often imitated but never quite touched, Hicks was the last true form of "punk". He did what he did because he wanted you to listen, to understand, to change.

He did not die rich, he will not be in the new Spiderman movie, he is not starring in a show about firefighters.

That's the ultimate conflict though... do what you love and die poor? Die unknown? Cult status? Cult legend?

I guess the medium needs to be bridged, how can you do both?

I had a friend who was a P.R.A.F (punk rock as fuck) kid. He believed in the ideology more than I ever did. I just dug the music. He lived and died for that mentality. No one outside family and friends recall him, just another dude who believed in something that died without much notice.

should i have been a musician?

so, i dated a girl once. she corresponded with mr. svenonius via email for a while. most of me believes she ended up sleeping with him.

i'm not angry or anything. i remember... a few years after we split... she called and asked me about good record stores in chicago, cause ian was visiting.

recently i've had the desire to start a band. i make music. i make a lot of music. but have never been in a band. i'd like that.

tonight i just thought a lot about music. about it all. about indie rock from the 90's, d.c scene stuff, etc.

i'd like to make noise.